Positivity takes real self-scrutiny. It is an undoing of toxic, damaging habits and mindsets that takes commitment and hard work. Positivity is not about making excuses, placing blame, and otherwise finding ways to rationalise unproductive mindsets and behaviour.
These are the most common mistakes I’ve found people making when they decide to start being “more positive”, mostly because they misunderstand what positivity is and what it is meant to help you achieve. You cannot become a more successful person if you are letting these five mistakes hold you back.
1. Failing To Take Responsibility
The majority of negativity stems directly from a person’s inability to take responsibility for themselves. Instead of trying to find solutions they try to find someone or something to blame. Instead of looking forward they’re always looking back. They’re always looking for excuses as to why they can’t instead of ways that they can.
Guess what? Shit happens. Shit happens and it happens to everyone. Either figure out a way to overcome it or enjoy a life buried in the shit. Your choice.
2. Believing Complaining Makes Things Better
There is no benefit to dwelling on every petty, inane annoyance and problem that crosses your path. Identify the things in your life that annoy you, but then figure out how to fix them! Don’t just sit around complaining. Act!
3. Not Understanding What Positivity Will Bring
It will bring confidence and self-assurance. It will bring productivity. You will stop feeling rotten and judgemental. A lot of people try to be more positive but haven’t really outlined why they’re trying. There are lots of ways negativity holds people back, but if you don’t know what your problem areas are, how are you going to fix them?
4. Not Understanding What Positivity Won’t Bring
Positivity doesn’t magically wash away all your problems. Those things that annoy you? They’re still going to exist. Bad things are still going to happen. Life will challenge you and there will be times when you are pushed right to the edge. But positivity is about slowly shifting your mindset so that life’s little annoyances won’t bother you anymore. By committing to a positive mindset, you focus on what you can do despite annoyances, roadblocks, and challenges.
5. Thinking It Will Happen Overnight
It won’t. And putting that much pressure on yourself to literally re-wire your brain’s knee-jerk reactions to life will only end in disappointment. It takes time. It takes commitment. It takes forgiveness. It takes intention. There will be ups and downs. Mistakes. Triumphs. The transition isn’t always smooth. It’s highly personal, highly intimate, but worth every single second. Be patient. If you’re trying you’ve already won half the battle: don’t forget that.